Children between the ages of nine and 12 are a unique group. At this age they start to focus on friends and their gender identities begin to develop. A Ventura divorce attorney can tell you since they can reason, they will begin passing judgment on parents and then take sides with one and blame the other for the marital breakup.
Being Involved with the Children
Parents easily can cause a child to suffer from issues related to self-esteem and identity. For this reason, both parents need to be involved with the children. Socialization should be provided by the opposite sex parent and role identity should be shown by the same sex parent. Arguments between the parents can have long-term impacts on children including poor self-esteem.
Children in this age group, like most other groups, need to feel that it is okay to love and care for both parents. They should never feel they have to choose one parent over another. It can hurt a child to hear one parent talk bad about the other. They need to know it is okay to have an emotional attachment with both parents. The schools of any age children need to be notified of the divorce. It is not rare for children this age to start saying they are sick to avoid school; the marital breakup could cause problems with school and friends.
Successful Parenting Plans for School-Age Children
School-age children are going through many changes, including a period of transition. A Ventura divorce attorney can explain that friends become very important and they start developing their own sets of values at school and at home. School can definitely help children get through the divorce because they will spend time there in between the time they spend at the other parent’s house.
The days they spend with each parent will depend on the child’s maturity and how well they are dealing with the divorce. At all times, both parents should try and be stable and predictable in their handling of the children. In situations where conflicts run high, it is acceptable to call in a therapist.
Contact a Ventura Divorce Attorney for Assistance
School can help children transition. If you are going through a divorce and have legal questions, call Ventura divorce lawyer Gary Mitchell at 888-452-1846.